GracePlays & GraceWorks

On a recent trip to Florida, my daughter and I took a trip to the beach. The beach is not a new experience for me. We lived there for over a decade and I became well acquainted with it. This time was different.

What was it about the beach that moved me so? I believe it had to do with the beauty of the surf…the calming affect of the ebb and flow of the waves and the timelessness of the tides. It put my aging into a bit of perspective.

 

Aging is not for sissies. I am finding that to be truer and truer as I "grow". Time speeds up in an astonishing fashion. Joints creak and groan in threatening tones. The litany in my head telling me to think young gets drowned out by the whispers everywhere chanting that there is no way to avoid what's happening.

"I will not go quietly into the good night." That famous quote takes on an intimate meaning making contact somewhere deep down inside my psyche.

Yet, much of me is going quietly into the good night. When the panic sets in, I reach for serenity and allow myself to stroll rather than stride; to breathe rather than pant; to relish what is rather than lament what is not. It's an ongoing action because the panic comes often.

It reminds me of what I have not accomplished, it taunts me with all my failures, it goads me with its ghoulish desire to focus on what I'm not rather than rejoice in who I am. It's mean. Just plain mean.

And the wrinkles? Talk about a gang of bullies! They show up everywhere making fun of me. They tweet to the world of my aging. And I know they talk about me behind my back. They send notes to each other and whisper and point at me from the mirror. Wretched wrinkles.

"I could banish you," I say. "You're lucky I let you live. A couple injections of Botox and you'd be gone! "

"But we'd be back!", I hear them chortle. Wretched wrinkles.

Somewhere, some time ago, I read something about cycles and seeing things from a longer focal point; that even human life at some point matches the ebb and flow of the seas and the seasons. I believe that is what this recent trip to the beach was about. It told me that the end of this life which I'm hurtling toward is nothing more than a swan dive into a beautiful cosmic sea which will continue to ebb and flow until the end of time and I will become a part of that splendid symphony.